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Things I said I’d do this weekend, but didn’t:

1.  Pluck my eyebrows.  I don’t know, I debated.  Pluck eyebrows – sleep?  Pluck eyebrows – lounge?  Pluck eyebrows – lollygag?

2.  Work out.  It wasn’t for lack of motivation, I assure you.  Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred is an ass kicker and my calves are still aching from last Wednesday’s Level 1 session.  Plus, every time she says, “I know you’re hating me right now” I’m all like, “Hate you? Girlfriend, I freakin’ want to beat you up!”  Except I can’t because, have you seen her biceps? OMG, they’re OMG. They scare me.

3.  Read my book.  It’s just that I’m at those first few chapters when I haven’t really invested in the story yet.   And why would I spend my time reading when I could be making a wholesome meal for my family?

Pan roasted garlic in tomato mushroom soup

4.  Give myself a foot spa.  I got a pedicure Friday night.  I actually wanted to get a foot spa, but there were two other women before me and when I showed up their sloughed off skin was all over the floor of the nail salon.  It looked like someone had shaved off a large brown candle, except it wasn’t wax, it was nasty humongozoid flakes of skin.  I nearly gagged and couldn’t bring myself to let the nice nail lady touch my feet.  I have everything I need to do it myself anyway, but I didn’t because we went bowling with awesome friends and I forgot all about it.  Only now the images are coming back to me.  Ew.

5.  Make a birdhouse.  I told Sommer I’d help her build a birdhouse, but I didn’t say when, so this one doesn’t really count.  Plus, she didn’t remind me about it.  If she did, I had a great stalling argument for Saipan being the biggest, most wonderful birdhouse ever in the history of birdhouses.  Why try and compete with Mother Nature?

On the other hand, I helped Hope with a school project, had a really productive conversation with Honey, got to hang out with great friends and finally got out of my slump.  See how much you can accomplish when you don’t try?